Nostalgic

Present-day Asuncion Kids.

Not all are kids anymore, though.

There's just something about memory. I've always liked a quote I read once:

"The funny thing about memory is that it makes you laugh when you remember the times you cried together, and it makes you cry when you remember the times you laughed together."

This is just very true. It's quite sad to leave all the laughter and the joy behind, and the little things you cry about when you're young, just laugh at them eventually. When you mature, and everything becomes more serious, this just has to happen, and honestly, memories are very, very confusing.

Why the sudden nostalgia?

It was a Friday night, after finals. My cousin came over, and invited me to stay over with them. She tempted me with brunch and a movie. (Am I easily tempted or what?) Free stuff to do over what would be a boring Saturday morning and afternoon. I gave in and asked permission, and I'm at my grandmother's house now.

The nostalgic part of Friday night was the conversation I had with my cousin. Everything we did as a family started coming back, all the memories, the good and the bad.

How could I forget? It was all so innocent back then. It was really just purely innocent fun we all had. The times we'd get annoyed at each other for the most trivial things, the times we'd all be so obsessed with certain things. The times that we all just did stuff, and no one thought malice of it, stuff that if we did now, people would freak out.

I remember... (My Top Ten Memories of the Asuncion Clan)

10. The Band.

Earlier in the previous decade, we were all musically obsessed at some point. We decided to form a band. It never pushed through, but the memory was still loved. Ate France and I played guitars at the time. Alisa planned on taking up bass. Paola on Drums. It was a family thing. It was a fun thing to plan out, but it never really pushed through. Oh well...

9. The Harry Potter obsession.

Intensely addicted to Harry Potter, I remember all those sheets of paper listing down all the spells and what they'd do. The free website we made that was purely dedicated to the cast (Radcliffe, Watson, Grint). I remember the toy wands we made out of whatever we could find.

8. The Yearly Halloween Treats.

It used to be so that we'd go trick or treat in the humongous Ayala Alabang Village. This used to be an every year thing, and then we'd all split the candy we got. It was heaven, and the candies used to last us for days. Of course, we didn't forget to brush our teeth afterwards.

7. The Bible Sessions.

Our grandma used to enroll us in Sunday school. It was all Bible based, and it was fun, but I don't remember any of our friends there, us family, we just stuck together. I remember some of the games though. The RPS-type, Bible game we always played, the candy they always gave. (Samson, Delilah, Lion instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors and the candy they gave was always Airheads) I don't remember so much about much of the other schools we went to, I only remember a few.

6. New Year's.

It so happened long ago that New Year's eve, we spent a part of it in Ayala Alabang, blowing up fireworks. And at around 10pm, despite the noise, everything was crazier inside the household than outside. Crazy in a sense that it was weird. Alisa was sleeping, I don't know how she could despite the noise. Gabbie was always scared, she'd be hiding out in the maid's quarters, or the music room, trying to get away from the thunderous noise of the firecrackers. Everyone else was either trying to wake Alisa up, or trying to force Gabbie to come out and see the colors in the night sky.

5. The Yearly Clan Photo.

My grandfather likes to keep memories in his albums. He has collection of hundreds of photo albums, thousand maybe even tens of thousands of photos. But, there's always a photo that I'll never forget, the yearly family photo we always take at Christmas. It's a way for my grandpa to remember all of us as we grew up through the years, and it's a way for us kids to see that too. Also, it's a way for us to see how we all grew up, and a stimulus for nostalgia. We'd always remember the funny poses, how it all turned out, and of course, my personal favorite... "The Eyeball Photo."

I'm trying to find a copy of the Eyeball Photo.

4. The Slide.

From our grandparents' old house in the Villamor Airbase, to their new house in Ayala Alabang, there was a slide that always accompanied our childhood. I don't know where it is now, I think it's in the empty lot next door, but the green, yellow and red slide always provided us with memories. From "the push incident" to the rustiness, it had always been there for us, providing us with a momentary breeze of air as we slid down, with our white shorts then colored rust afterwards.

3. The Clubhouse.

There was a place we used to call "The Clubhouse." It was a bench attached to a tree on the empty lot next to our grandparents' place. It was our hang out place, it was where we stayed while eating chips, drinking softdrinks, and just hanging out, before the weather got too hot, and before Facebook and the internet started taking it all away from us. I remember Paola used to climb that tree, I didn't know how to climb, but eventually I learned, I didn't climb so much though. I remember looking over the wall, into a vast distance of nothing but sky.

2. Gaming

If we weren't in Alabang, we would sleep over in whoever's house. Whatever we had to do was what we did, and the Betitas (Ate France, Alisa, Paola, Tea wasn't born yet at the time) had a computer filled with so much different games. And Spooky Castle was one of our favorites. We would kill each other over playing time. And there's something I'm not so proud of... I was young, so don't judge me... For some time, we all played... Detective Barbie. I know it's a girly game, but childhood memories are fun that way, you'd do stuff you know you wouldn't do when you become of age.

1. The Bubble Bath.

Our grandparents had a bath tub in their huge bathroom (it's still there). All of us, Ate Francie, Alisa, Junie (my brother), Paola, and Gabbie (Casas, another cousin of ours) used to take bubble baths all at the same time, and enjoyed it every single time, despite all six of us trying to desperately fit into a bath tub where I know I'd barely fit now. It was a pain for our bodies trying to cramp ourselves in there, but it was so worth it, I enjoyed every single bruise (if I did have, although, I think I probably would have had one.)

Original Asuncion Babies.

1998.

Greetings from the Asuncion kids of the 90's.

FrancieJustinAlisaJuniePaolaGabbie.

Puzzling

Finals week is almost over, just one exam left... more of a long test rather... and I must say that I'm glad to end this school year.

Let's hope that next school year will be better for me.

Anyway... There's been something wrong with me the past few days, and I can't really pinpoint what it is... there's just something off... but nonetheless, I will not let it get to me...

Life is like a Rubik's cube... (speaking of which.. I can't wait for Monfort to give me mine)... There are algorithms to get a certain tiny box to its proper location, a way to solve everything. However, you'd have to complete the first base first, and it's pretty hard doing so when you've never tried it before, but it gets easier over time. And, if you've tried and tried solving one, the way to solve it isn't the same way every time. It somehow always ends up with a different pattern every time.

Lately has been a familiar pattern for me. I've seen this before, and last time it didn't turn out for the best, but it was pretty good... a quick- or rather- somewhat good result. I guess, it's not so bad.... but I've only just started again, let's see how the succeeding layers will turn out.

Innocence

Butterflies

Alana Lee

How I wish life were as simple as this. Another Ark Music project (Same company who produced and released Rebecca Black's "Friday"), but this time it's quite different: theme and artist.

I don't know much about Alana Lee(artist) or the company(Ark Music), but from what I've seen and heard, she is definitely better than that Rebecca Black.

I'm not going to talk about that other Friday girl any longer. I just enjoyed the kiddie, puppy love childhood song of Alana Lee. It may come off to others as not their type of music, it certainly isn't mine, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Why?

Here's why. Watch it. It has a comforting, nostalgic feel to it. Do you remember that childhood crush? I know I do, sort of. I remember the way I felt, the way I'd run away when I see her. The way it all was so long ago, when I was so young. I sort of remember everything the way was. I never had a school crush, 'cause well... I was in an all-boys school, and it'd be kind of weird if I did. I remember how it was so confusing to have a crush like this, the way I'd love seeing her around, but never wanted to be around her. It was crazy.

I hope you all enjoy this video as it may take you back to your old "happy crush" memories. It's a beautiful stage in one's life, I just hope it never had to end.

PS. Don't be surprised if I suddenly have one again soon. It'll make me feel younger, so, please don't judge. Thank you.

Totally Different

There are things in life that are different than you initially perceive them to be. Events, occurrences, things, people. People. People. People.

This is when I realized that first impressions aren't supposed to be made. This already happened to me, one person that I initially thought was the devil, turned out to be an angel for me, sort of.

There are a lot of things changing in life now, including myself. I've been well... better off lately.

I've secrets to hide, stories to tell, moments to live and people to love. I just hope that my new positive outlook on life now gives a totally different outcome on what I used to see and believe.

I know this is a short blog. I have nothing to blog about. Like the photo.... let's hope I'm entering into somewhere better than I previously was.

Unfinished

That first stroke of blue and yellow oil

on a sheet of canvas, a

depiction of happiness, of sadness,

of memories, of life.

But in a a matter of hours,

days, months, to even years,

a streak of gold and yellow

turns into a burst of unheard-of colors

and a blank, unfilled

corner of a dirty-white canvas,

that is meant for what it

unfinished.

Labascate

v. to begin to fall or slip

Back to this? not quite.

Just a flashback to the past, as nostalgia hit me tonight, and last night.

We were looking back through a few childhood photos last night, and behold all the memories that came back. It made me see the development in my life: from the Nina-Justin baby days. I remember that we were super close, if I remember right. She was like my best friend, I think.

No photo yet. Will search for one.

To the lonely early grade school days, where I was used to eating lunch alone. The later grade school days, where I met one of my best friends, Ian.

No photo.

To the high school days, where my best friend left. To where my loneliness had gotten me good for half the high school life, to where I met the KBoys.

A Look Into My Life

A Glimpse of K2009

To my college days, where I met another of my best friends, Janine. Where I shifted into MAC, then out of it, a year and a half later. Where I met just more of my really great friends, Nikki, Camae, Sassy, Gianna, Diamond. The R4 people. All of them.

Janine and myself

The R4 People.

I'm slowly labascating into the past, but I know I have to move forward into the future. The past is something I'd like to bring back in part, yet I'd like to forget somehow.

There are those share of moments that I'd love to last

and a share of moments, that should stay in the past.

Going back to being childish, I guess.

There are things that I have long forgotten, there are things I'd love to bring back. But I can't and I don't mind, because life has turned out for the better for me, and I'm thankful for that.

Here's Who I Am Today:

This very moment in my life, these are the people.

the friends I've had to hold on to.

the friends I learned to love

the friends I DO love.

Just a little bit of my life. To share.

I'm thankful for every little portion that was given to me. I hope that you see this and well, slip into the bliss I am experiencing, or at least find your own way to labascate into an entirely different happiness of your own. :)

Thank You

Welcome to the post-teen years.

Officially, it's time to start everything over. Celebrations are done. Thank you all for the wonderful (Janine), and "kalokohan" (Camae, Sassy, Nikki), and the soon-to-arrive (Monfort) gifts. A whole lot of heart-warming and loving experiences the past week, combined with a couple of scares and stress, make a really perfect week for a birthday.

Thanks for the "kalokohan" gift.

Thanks for the wonderful gifts as well.

I'm thankful to God that I have such great friends. (This goes out to all those who came, and those who didn't.) Maybe it's too soon to say, but I love all of you guys. (I hope you'll be able to read this)

Well, twenty isn't so bad. Everyone's asking. It feels pretty much the same, but somehow different. It's like that first time you try something new. There is something different about how you feel, I guess, but it's something good. I have a refreshing start. It's time.

Thank you all!! JanineNikkiSassyCamaeGiannaDiamond: absolutely the best people in the world.

JoshAlisa MigsBianca Domz Daluz Macky Monfort Joyce. All those who make me feel wanted and loved. Thank you all.

One

One day left. It's almost here. Actually, less than a day left.

It's currently around 4:30pm, so around seven and a half hours left before the big TWO-OH. UH-OH.

I'm growing up so fast, I can still remember the days I was starting basketball. The days I hated the damn sport. The day that my dad threw a basketball at me, and it hit my face. I have a lot of memories such as this, let us give it all some closure. I'll finally share some moments in my life, that I need to get over, let go, and forget.

First: this is actually a series of memories. Many, many times when I'd hang out with my cousin, C. Dad would think I'm gay and over and over again, he'd get mad at me for it. Over and over again, it would be the worst moments of my life. To think that my dad could do that.

Second: again with my dad. I remember the first time I really had a crush on someone. I was in the sixth or seventh grade if I recall right. I didn't really want to tell anybody, but then people found out. My dad had the worst reaction: it went something like, "bakit naman siya? eh, pangit naman siya." To think my dad did that.

Third: another day again, with my dad. That one morning he woke me up so early, and had me play basketball. He threw a ball in my face, and for some time I'd been afraid of basketballs. I have gotten over that, but this day still has a bearing on me. He screamed at me, got mad, and pushed me around. He was still younger then, so he was a little bit stronger. To think my dad did that.

Fourth: one day in second grade. Finally not something with my dad. I remember being the one that was always chased around. I remember someone I knew, roughed me up a little bit, put glue in my eye, and that was pretty bad for my age. I remembered that moment until we were in second year high school and that same guy was my classmate, I just don't remember who his goons were. But I often still think of that moment, that I still have something to prove, perhaps. I don't.

Fifth: a more recent moment. I guess this was the one I was hurt pretty bad. This is just about the Miami Heat. I thought LeBron was meant for that team. I guess not. Sometimes, hard feelings occur, and LeBron just has to move on. Maybe he should stop being King James, and just be LeBron James instead, find something new about the Miami Heat, and maybe, in effect take on a whole new person. Maybe that way, LeBron James would be happier and finally win a ring for himself, and stop dreaming of reaching Jordan, because no one ever will.

These five moments are all I can think of at the moment. In a couple of hours, I just have to move past them. There are things that are worth holding on to. You'll hear about them soon enough, when I realize what there are to hold on to. And they're quite a number as well. It's now almost 5:00pm, and I have seven hours left to hold on to every little one of these things, similar to these five.

Two

2.

Sigh.. literally, a couple of days left... I haven't done a lot of things yet in my life, I have yet to really experience it, I hope I get to before I really grow into an adult (21).

Something has been happening over the past couple of weeks, and it's a phenomenon that's pretty hard to explain. Everything's changing around me. I can feel myself slowly inching into the domain of the "adult." There are a lot of things that I should change in my life, and I think it's time to get serious, about many things.

So, well.... the wait is almost over, and the maturity should be kicking in soon enough. No more chocolate birthday cakes, I think it's time for a more serious flavor, no more fifteen cups of rice per meal, no more playing around. It's time to be happy, yet more serious about everything. Smile. :)

Three

3. It's so close now. I can feel it, anxiety, nervousness, excitement.

Three days. There is this thing called the three days rule... You're only supposed to call a girl three days after you get her number. What do you think?

Well, I got nothing to blog about, and since it's my countdown to my birthday, I needed something to blog about.

Sooooo... three days.... three days... three days... Well... that's about it... see you all on my birthday. :)

BIG COUNTDOWN... Three...

Four

4.

I'm off to party tonight, my last party as a TEEN. It's kinda sad that I'll be leaving it all behind.

But life isn't over yet. I'll be starting life as a twenty-year old... A new beginning. A new canvas to paint everything on. It's time to stop being a kid in a couple of days.

I'm quite excited. FOR TONIGHT... and FOR LIFE.

I'm starting to expect things again. It's like my eighteenth birthday, where I'm speculating quite a lot of things.

What would happen in a few days when my birthday comes? Would it be a new chance to fix myself? I hope so. Oh well... I'm looking forward to life as a twenty year old. What will it be like? Legendary! How do I know? Because I'll live it to be legendary.

Five

5 days to go. What a countdown.

Today's been good. I've finally gone to the gym again. I can't wait to feel the post-gym pain. Hahaha. :) I like it, I don't know why. :)

Anyway... I delivered a speech today, my first time to a crowd that huge. It was crazy, because it was my first time to do so. It was a very fruitful experience, and I kinda wanna do it again. Maybe I enjoyed it, maybe I enjoyed it too much.

Anyway... Five days to go, then it's off to adult land. Gotta start getting used to adult life, and well... life. Hahaha!

I don't know what to blog about really... hahaha... so, let's just put FIVE random facts about me:

5. I don't really party, but I'm going to one tomorrow

4. I haven't been this happy since...

3. Go Dallas Mavericks!!

2. I love Bugs.

1. LeBron was much better off in Cleveland.

Six

6.. LeBron James' new jersey number in Miami.

I have six days left, as for stupid, I don't know what stupid thing I've done, but I've plans, and I don't know how I'll go about it yet. But I wish for me to do at least part of it.

There is that points in life where you just get up and say: "life is awesome." and actually mean it. There are points where you say: "life is boring." and mean it. There are points in life you say: "life is awful." and mean it. There are times you don't mean it. There are times whether you just don't know how life is for you.

Right now, I'm at that first point. I've been telling myself life's been good for me. I don't want to switch that point ever again, but shit happens, and well... fuck that shit. I've been pretty happy the past few days, I haven't been this happy about life in a long time, and so, being happy is kinda great. I forgot how it felt like. I'm enjoying this bliss. I hope it lasts.

Someone's slowly breaking it down, and I'm hoping that she won't completely. However, it's kind of confusing, she's the one who made me this happy in the first place. I know how to feel, but it sucks that whenever I am happy, there's always a way for her to burst my bubble. Confused? Quite. Help me out, anyone?

Seven

7. One week.

And today... I have the energy of a child again. It's like it's so appealing to try and do everything. So, in my last week as a teen, let us try to do everything that will not endanger anything. Let's be stupid for a while.

I need to plan what's left that I could do.

I feel young again, and it's time to do what young kids do. I think. I'm playing basketball again, I'm running around, walking going everywhere. This blog entry's not going anywhere, so... let us make some plans....

I have seven days left, let us make a list of things that I can do. I want some typical teenage experiences, so, let's cause some drama one more time. This time, I don't want regrets, so however it turns out, I'll live with it. I want to feel young, so I'm gymming, playing basketball again, at least once more before I turn twenty and do that over again a lot more times. I want to hold off taking care of myself for a while, so let's be reckless. I shall see what happens. I will... try to be hyperactive in everything. I may seem crazy for doing this, but I want to feel young. This may be the last time that any of this may ever happen, so let us be young. Let me be young for one more week. And even though I can still be young at twenty years old. I want to be stupid for one last week in my life. So, I'll just do it. No problems. :)

Eight

8. I can't think of eights. Hahaha.

Well, it's my last eight days of my teen years. What's happening now?

Today has been, well, productive, but not for me. Well, for me as well. Hahaha. Nikki's been having paper troubles, I try to help, I hope I can be of help. There are many things happening in my life, too, I think.

So far, it's been eat-eat-eat for me. Hahaha. It's a bad habit, and I'm gaining weight because of it. I should go back to gym-gym-gym. Hahaha. I've gone through so much since my birthday last year. But let's recall, what happened last year?

I had my birthday celebration at the bar, the bar which dad used to own and operate. One of my sadder birthdays. I spent it in a club, doing nothing, since clubbing wasn't really my thing. At least I was with awesome people, Raissa, Kevin, among others in the club. However, the highlight of my night, really, was the dinner. Some of the people I love the most were there, Janine, english and MAC people came as well. It's been so long, and I still have memories of that night. That was still pretty much the first year days. I refer to those days as the first year days because I was a freshman.

Although, there was something else about those days. I'm not sure what, I'm still quite puzzled, but hopefully, I can bring it back. I want to bring it back. Life was less complicated back then. I just want a redo, but who says I can't? The redo starts in... eight days. Let's just fool around for a bit. The last bit of my teenage years. It's time to say goodbye, and start all over.