09.1.9

There are some days that change your life, and at first, it may seem like a good change, but eventually you'll find it all going downhill, or at least straying away from the path you initially wanted to follow.

One day would make everything go wrong, or turn you right around straight to perfection. Sometimes you know it, and sometimes you don't.

That day still haunts me today... I still wonder what would have happened if events of that day had never occurred, but then again, would I be where I am now?

Downplay

I was supposed to talk about downplay tonight. But I found a new topic to talk about. Mainly still about downplaying, or quitting...

Quitting and downplaying aren't always bad things. There are shit that happen in life that make you see how bad you are. I never realized myself that I was pathetic, until a certain event that happened tonight. I can't spare details, it's not my story to tell... All that you should know that now, I know how pathetic I am, and it's time to pick all that bullshit up, and well.... enough with all this bullshit.

It's time to quit all this fucking non-sense, and start to live my life as it needs to lived, not how I want it to be lived. If I followed everything I wanted, wouldn't that make me spoiled? I don't want that, would I? I can't get everything I want... I just have to be content with what I do have. Well, let's just work for the better....

Some Others

One of my friends' blogs gave me something to think about today. It was a very, very insightful blog, it made me think whether I had made the right decision long ago.

It was one of my friend's blog that had put the thought in my head, and it had made me look back. It was towards the end of my senior year in high school. I had a friend, and for privacy's sake, I won't name her. My friend had put on her blog:

What would you do if you suddenly find out that the person you liked before or still do….. also liked you the same time you liked that person but both of you never knew until it was too late……

Just a thought….

It just had brought the idea of my friend back into my mind, 'cause we had one date, and I haven't seen her since. But somehow, I managed to contact her a while after that, she told me that maybe it was possible, that I had a chance. After that night, I put my phone down, and just let go. Sure, it was confusing. I don't know whether to be happy that I knew I had a shot, or sad that I didn't stick it out. I just let it go, I let her go.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be, I had started falling for someone else when it was clarified that I, indeed, had a shot. However, I guess, it's just time to move on. I don't want the universe to slap me in the face when I go back and find out that someone else had taken that chance, so, it's no turning around now. I'll just let her be happy on her own, let myself be happy on my own. There are some others that may choose to go back, or interfere, or do something about it. There are some others that may cry, some others choose to let it bother them until something happens. There are some like me, that had just let it go, and sometimes regretted to let it go. But, letting go doesn't mean giving up, I'm not weak, I'm just not the same guy I was, and everything that happened between us, it's all gone now, and my regrets, gone with her.

So, friend, if you can read this, you can either, just let him go, try to get him back, or be patient and try to work something out after some time. Goodluck. :)

[http://lilbabyfox.wordpress.com/]

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Junior Year

Junior year for me is special. In high school, prom was there... I met really great people, got really close with even better ones. School was a blast, I had the highest and best grades of my life.

Soooo...

I'm a college junior now. I've grown much, much older, and more and more mature. The people I know and are close to now are better, and I need to find a group of friends that will complement me, and help me do better, not bring me down, or make me feel like life is bullshit. I don't need people in my life that carry around loads of horse apples. Most of the people I know now are great, and well there are those that aren't really my favorite people, but you can't really choose the people who are involved in your life, sometimes, you have to just live with it, and learn to accept that they're there and that's that.

Actually, I came online to blog about what I want out of my junior year. I want...

A huge turnaround from my sophomore year.

For there are many things about me that may not know in my sophomore year. I was not who I wanted to be. Life was testing me, throughout the entire year.

My life was a load of fucked up bullshit, on the express way to nowhere, and for those who know about this blog, probably know about my suicidal-state those times. Life was somewhat terrible for me, and to make matters worse, I was a total asshole. I don't know why, the stress, the madness was probably getting to me. It's time to change this now. New school year, new life.

My first day as a junior started out great, good people in my classes, great friends to be with, great teachers, based on the short moments I've had with them. Amazing moments already, and it's just the first day of class. I'm waiting for more to come.

And nothing more.

All I want is for my life to change, and I think I want to make it happen. Junior year was the year in high school where I turned around, let's hope the college turnaround is A LOT bigger than that of high school. Junior year was the year that a lot of things happened. I wish my college junior year would be the year where I make a lot of things happen. Hopefully, I get something good out of my wishes as well.

It's time for the turnaround.

Again

I realized that I haven't blogged anything in ages. I don't know what to blog about. It's like everything is going great for me, I have nothing so special to blog about anymore. Life has been routinely awesome this break, more or less.

What have I done exactly? Let me see...

Earlier in the break, I spent time with my cousins, and family. A sleepover at our grandparents' place. It's always great being in their company, hanging out with them day and night, talking about stuff, doing random things. Making fail plans that never push through.

Eventually, I got re-acquainted with movies, Mortal Kombat (both), Back to the Future and more soon to come perhaps. It's been quite nostalgic. I remember all the childhood memories, sitting for hours in front of our PlayStation, computer, TV, watching/playing videos/games. It's quite great.

I met new friends over the break, not quite in my age group, but still a great bunch of people to hang out with: Bea, Angelica, Amanda. Got closer to some of the older friends Rachel, Rina, Tristan, and the others. This is what happens when people of my age aren't around, or don't hang out. But nonetheless, the break was a reintroduction into the early teen years.

There is a sensitive topic I won't discuss, let's just say that it revolves around the past. I won't share it in detail though. Sorry.

However, the break was great, all I have now is a TnT interview on Monday and then back to school on Tuesday. I'm so excited, let's hope this is gonna be a great summer semester.