This, Too, Shall Pass...

Some people make mistakes because at first it seems right, when it turns out that it was the worst decision you could ever make. These instances are bitches but you can only hope that they'll pass.

I'm stuck in the same old rut of teenage life: dilemmas.

There's something I have to leave for a while, but I don't really want to, because it's been such a huge part of my life already and it's killing me to let it all go, but something better awaits if this happens, so, I guess I just have to let it go for the meantime. But here's to hoping that it'll all pass, and everything will turn out better.

I've consulted non-involved people with this certain dilemma, and says I shouldn't have to do it, but there's a part of me that feels like it should happen, even if I don't want it to.

Concerned past feelings are already long gone, and I've moved on, but still, there're some things that I can't really let go of that easily. Mind you, this isn't easy. It's not an easy decision, and it just hurts that I have to do this. But it'll all turn better in the end. Hopefully.

Kept Me Out of It.

School has kept me out of this part of my life the past few weeks. Hmm... But I stumbled upon something on Facebook. A post on a friend's wall, that got me reminiscing, that got me thinking.

Looking through old photos of what life had been like had I not left it all behind. Would I have gotten better at golf, perhaps? Could I have possibly followed my dad's plan for me, and be studying in the United States right now? Or even better, would I have gotten a golf scholarship? Many questions like these come to mind, but now, all I can do is wonder.

Particularly, the photo I saw, was an old crush, and well... despite everybody saying not so nice stuff, there was a part of me that always liked her. It took me one look to see what beauty she had. It took me a few days to see that she would be an important person in my life, but I couldn't foresee that she'd just be someone important for a number of years, then just vanish into something else she loves doing, something else I used to love doing to. I stopped golf, she took it seriously.

I'm seriously starting to wonder what happened if I took golf seriously, just like she did. Would I still be liking her right now? Would I still be seeing her regularly? Would I be awaiting texts and phone calls just like I do when Ian comes home? I can wonder, or I can let it go.

But, as I've learned, it's not that easy to let it go. This was a significant happening in my life, but the past it past. I'll get nothing from living there. I'm excited for the future, yet a little scared. I want to stick with what's familiar, but I need to go there.

I don't have any disappointments with how my life turned out, though some people might. No regrets on leaving that life behind me in exchange for this one. Although, I might begin life anew, and play that life, along with this one, hoping things would turn out overall, better. I think I want that, but right now, I have no doubts that my life couldn't be any better right now. *Insert mayabang smug face here*

I just miss her, she was a really good friend. Too bad, she's gone.

A New Blog

As mentioned previously...

I am writing a story, making every part and chapter visible to public eyes, but hidden in plain sight. (What?)

There's a blog, a public blog, where-in you have to find the name, I wanna show my friends, but I want to keep it hidden for the time being, and since I love games. Let's play one. Let's see... hmm...........

--------------.blogspot.com (http://savethewords.org)

How do we make a clue? CLUE: I'm HIDING IN THE DARK. GOODLUCK!!

It's a two-word blog... Go to the website as previously stated. I'm hiding there. If you don't get it, just ask me. ;)

Writing

There's something about this summer that is making me do things that... well... I don't know... I thought I had given up. I thought I was going to quit on my Chinese Studies minor, and this summer is making me think twice about it. I'm exposed to language studies almost everyday, I have a friend that's currently taking up her minor in CHINA, cool! I have a friend that has started to take a minor track as well, plus my former laoshi (teacher) is very, very inspiring.

I thought I had given up on sports, but now, I'm not so sure. I want to buy a bike, basketball is getting more serious for me. Plus, the NBA is huge these days. The Miami Heat's following the Celtics' path to glory. Memphis is on a WTF streak!! And the Dallas Mavs, well, say no more, they beat the Lakers in a game 1, nail-biter. Let's just hope my idols are doing well!!

I thought I had given up on writing, but not quite. I'm starting to write again. Starting out again with poems and music with a buddy, and then working on a side project again, another story. Not just any story, but something that is closely heartfelt. It's hidden in another latibule. Perhaps... Somewhere in the dark. (Weffriddles?) (Laugh).

Well, about my side project, I'm taking it slowly, writing part by part, then forming chapter by chapter, making it finally complete, but still hiding somewhere. Should I make it known?