Looking through old photos of what life had been like had I not left it all behind. Would I have gotten better at golf, perhaps? Could I have possibly followed my dad's plan for me, and be studying in the United States right now? Or even better, would I have gotten a golf scholarship? Many questions like these come to mind, but now, all I can do is wonder.
Particularly, the photo I saw, was an old crush, and well... despite everybody saying not so nice stuff, there was a part of me that always liked her. It took me one look to see what beauty she had. It took me a few days to see that she would be an important person in my life, but I couldn't foresee that she'd just be someone important for a number of years, then just vanish into something else she loves doing, something else I used to love doing to. I stopped golf, she took it seriously.
I'm seriously starting to wonder what happened if I took golf seriously, just like she did. Would I still be liking her right now? Would I still be seeing her regularly? Would I be awaiting texts and phone calls just like I do when Ian comes home? I can wonder, or I can let it go.
But, as I've learned, it's not that easy to let it go. This was a significant happening in my life, but the past it past. I'll get nothing from living there. I'm excited for the future, yet a little scared. I want to stick with what's familiar, but I need to go there.
I don't have any disappointments with how my life turned out, though some people might. No regrets on leaving that life behind me in exchange for this one. Although, I might begin life anew, and play that life, along with this one, hoping things would turn out overall, better. I think I want that, but right now, I have no doubts that my life couldn't be any better right now. *Insert mayabang smug face here*
I just miss her, she was a really good friend. Too bad, she's gone.
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